Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Digital Art / Professional Kristina Toxicpanda21/Female/Croatia Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 791 Deviations 7,981 Comments 87,279 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

I should be painting, but I can't get out of my bed.
I should be painting, but I can't hold my pen.
I should be painting, but I can't stay awake anymore.


This is something that I tell myself every day for the past month. No, it's not laziness, or depression - I can get over that easily. It's just... 
They told me- "go, get some rest Kristina, you are working too hard", "maybe you should go out, or travel somewhere", "Kristina do you sleep?" It all seemed so silly and I would just ignore everything they said, because I knew I can work more, study, do everything. "Sleep is for the weak" and similar stuff were something I'd say every day. 
I used to be sick before, but somehow I'd get over it through some time. Few pills, few days of sleep and everything would be alright. "That's how this world works right?" But no. 
During my last exams, and even before that, I started feeling changes in mood, energy, and my body. It would get worse the more stress I had on my back, more exams I had, and more work I had. My last blood test was terrifying , and I got scared a bit, so I moved half of my exams to next period (in one month) so I can get enough time to rest. My doctor said I will never be the same again. It will keep coming back. No matter what pills I take, no matter how many times I'll take therapy, it will just keep coming back. Some parts of my body will just ...never work the same again.
Mornings are the worst...I can't hold glass or pen in my hand, or sometimes I can't even get out of my bed. Why did I do this to myself? Why was I so stubborn to think I can conquer the world with just pen and paper? Everyone is made out of glass, and we can all break so easily.
I never wanted to share this with others, but people started noticing, or they would get angry if I didn't answer or time or anything. So here I apologize to everyone who got mad because I didn't pay enough attention to them, or didn't get answers they wanted. I'm sorry, and I'm just tired. There is a reason why I have been so slow with painting and everything, so I really hope you guys understand. I wish I could do more, but I'm trying to rest and relax as much as I can. 
And, I would love to know if anyone has some nice recipe for food that is very healthy and gives you a boost up of energy, or excercise. I'll try to change my life a bit.

Thank you everyone, for all support and love you are giving me, a stranger, a ghost on the internet. Thank you. :rose:

About commissions - I'll do them every day, little by little.
Andraax42 - I'm doing RPG cover- it's kinda urgent so I'm doing this first- base sketch is done and half of coloring. Hope to finish this by the end of this week.
arkeis-pokemon Your commission is done : ) please check your note to see if there is anything that needs to be added.
aetheldeviant I can't wait to start painting Johnathan -that character is well designed and I already have some cool ideas how it might look like. I'll send in sketches soon.
Benjamin Blythe - D&D dragonborn commission
Taiguchi - two characters from FF XIV I hope you are still up for this^^ let me know
Aqua-Spirit22 I'm still holding you this spot in case you want that commission : )
cadefoster still up for those commissions? : )
Kaedegirl  can't wait to start with your beautiful commission :rose: thank you for all support dear.
And Kiriban teasqoons didn't forget about you : )

I hope you understand the situation. And if waiting is a bit too long I would understand if you want to cancel commission. I'll do my best to work as much as I can and not push too hard. Thank you everyone.

deviantID

T00xicpanda
Kristina Toxicpanda
Artist | Professional | Digital Art
Croatia
Interests

Donate

T00xicpanda has started a donation pool!
446 / 50,000
I give premium membership to people who really deserve it :heart:

So far given Premium membership to Wicked-Lexie , Kirinov , CjMarsh , TianaMaros , Cl0ud24 ,djari328 , AlivBonano , meesheep

You must be logged in to donate.

AdCast - Ads from the Community

Commissions

High Detail Illustrations (Characters, Creatures, Landscapes)
Blessing of Sin'dorei by T00xicpanda
CM: Selenthiena by T00xicpanda
Moondust by T00xicpanda
Timeless Hope by T00xicpanda
Planet Defiant: Enahi by T00xicpanda
The Rise Within: Queens Arrival by T00xicpanda
      Send me a note if you want to pay over PayPal.
Sea Green Bullet - F2U! I will send you sketch so we can both be sure I got your idea
Sea Green Bullet - F2U! If needed, I can send more progress pictures during painting time
Sea Green Bullet - F2U! You are going to recieve full resolution picture (300dpi, minimum 3000px)
Sea Green Bullet - F2U! Your work will be posted on my deviantart page and/or portfolio (if we don't have different agreement) 

 Rose Red Bullet - F2U! Please answer your notes/emails often, don't let me wait few weeks
 Rose Red Bullet - F2U! Deadline should be discussed over note/mail.  

Turquoise Bullet - F2U! I can make timelapse video on youtube.
Original Characters (Portrait/Bust)
CM:Orion by T00xicpanda
Essence of Dreams by T00xicpanda
Ideals by T00xicpanda
CM: Lyanea Duskbinder by T00xicpanda
CM: Vaerithia by T00xicpanda
      
 Send me a note if you want to pay over PayPal.
Sea Green Bullet - F2U! I will send you sketch so we can both be sure I got your idea
Sea Green Bullet - F2U! If needed, I can send more progress pictures during painting time
Sea Green Bullet - F2U! You are going to recieve full resolution picture (300dpi, minimum 3000px)
Sea Green Bullet - F2U! Your work will be posted on my deviantart page and/or portfolio (if we don't have different agreement) 
Sea Green Bullet - F2U! You will have to pay extra 10$ if there are two characters 

 Rose Red Bullet - F2U! Please answer your notes/emails often, don't let me wait few weeks
 Rose Red Bullet - F2U! Deadline should be discussed over note/mail.  

Turquoise Bullet - F2U! I can make timelapse video on youtube. 

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconthe-r4ge:
THE-R4GE Featured By Owner 3 hours ago
Thanks for the llama! :D
Reply
:iconlennox22:
Lennox22 Featured By Owner 20 hours ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama. Your art is amazing!
Reply
:iconnightcrawlerfan136:
nightcrawlerfan136 Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the fave
Reply
:icondrugtito:
drugTito Featured By Owner 2 days ago
hvala na fejvanju! :ahoy:
Reply
:iconnoir-division:
Noir-Division Featured By Owner 2 days ago   Photographer
:blackrose: :cookie:
Reply
Add a Comment: